The Magic of the Inbetween and the Half-finished

Leaving the door open in our creativity...

I was recently reading through my poetry, and I came across a poem I wrote in April 2022. The poem is about creativity and the imperfection of life. It got me thinking that we creatives live in a dream world, always riding on this wave of possibility because, in creativity, anything is possible. It got me thinking that perhaps creatives are the most eternally (and perhaps unrealistically!) optimistic of people.

#24

Sometimes it takes having my feet

pulled out from under me to stop.

I woke with nausea

which settled only when I lay down,

so I did, and daydreamed like I used to

in the days before there were children.

I picture colour schemes,

and dream of changing things

in the children's bedrooms

until they are all just right,

and we all fall perfectly into place

in our origami house.

Nothing is ever perfect though,

and nothing is really ever finished either,

because life is growing, changing, shifting

and nothing stays the same,

and so, I will wait in the in-between,

and make my life in the half-finished;

a dreamer's workshop,

where everything is still possible.

That feeling of never quite finishing anything off reminds me of Anne Lamott and how she writes about messiness and creativity in Bird by Bird.

'Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived. Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground- you can still discover new treasure under all those piles, clean things up, get a grip. Tidiness suggests that something is as good as its ever going to get. Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation, while writing needs to breathe and move.'

Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott

The Half-finished

I love that so much. Mess is play. It is pushing the boundaries, it is alive. But this idea of the 'half-finished' also means that we choose to leave the door open. We can never fully know that a piece is finished. We can never be fully sure that we couldn’t have ended a novel in a better way. And when we close up on a project, are we ever really done with that world, or do we leave a portal, somewhere within us, to the world we have created?

The half-finished also means there is the possibility of failure. The project might not work out, it might not be what you had envisaged or you might not be able to finish it.

Sometimes, though, we also need to close the loop and finish our projects to be able to move on to the next one. In these times we might have to take 'done' over perfect.

Sacrifice

I refound this poem too, all about what it means to live this way, with less certainty and more questions.

Sacrifice

these gifts
we hold lightly,
their warp and weft,
their stretch and sway
as they wend their way
through our lives,
threading them with
just a touch
of heaven’s fire.
we live through them,
and through them
make sense of this world.
we see you, God,
we even draw you,
in green and grace,
in white and gold,
in ink and pencil,
because we are trying,
always,
to make sense of this.
here is the sacrifice:
of time and devotion,
instead of promotion
and the sensible way.
here instead,
a different way of living:
a fractured and colourful life,
an imperfect offering
on an outstretched palm.
And may this seed grow,
shooting and green,
vivid and life-giving,
until it reaches
all the fullness
it was made for.

Because all of this sketching out and honing of our voice is messy and open-ended, but our life becomes that outstretched palm, the bedding-down place of the creative seed. So do not fear the loose ends or the unfinished projects, you can come back to them later. Just keep following that green shoot, as it grows.

And if we give it time and patience enough, that seed may reach as high as the heavens.

So dear creative, I wish for you a straight path to a clear mind where you can pursue all of your creative whims and dreams.

And may your dreams grow shooting and green.

Thanks so much for reading Miners.

Elisabeth

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